I went out last night with some mates, ostensibly just to catch up. We decided to hit news café because its close and we’re lazy. Had a couple of drinks, ordered some food, then did the normal guy thing – talk shit and look at women ;)
There was one guy there, I felt sorry for the dude. You could see the hopelessness, futility , and what's sad is he doesn’t even realize it. This guy and his buddy’s had been drinking from before we arrived, and were trying for anything - The chick selling jagerbombs for R30 each, those sorts of dead-ends. Then these 3 chicks arrive. Attractive enough, the one was wearing pants I have boxer shorts longer than; maximizing her best assets etc. her legs just went on forever. They sit down, and there’s blondie, legs, brunette an empty 4th chair. After about 15 minutes, this dude musters the courage (very probably the Dutch kind) and plonks himself down and starts chatting. Now we’re watching this and thinking “That guys not going home alone tonight”.
Then his mates get in on it. They were all sitting a table away, about 6 of them, and they start to intrude. It starts when one guy positions himself right between 2 of the chicks, starts talking to the blonde. The dude was trying his luck with brunette. Suddenly the rest of the group of guys are all there, cockblocking the shit outta the dude. And we watched the evening progress. Out of this group, only a few of these guys manage to strike up conversation. One guy talks to brunette, the same first guy continues talking to blondie, legs is left alone. The rest of the guys sit back with sour expressions, not even talking to each other. It’s only when the dude gets up and moves around the table do we realize how much Dutch courage the dude imbibed. He was holding onto chairs for support, and staggered over to sit next to legs. I don’t imagine a guy that wasted could say anything remotely charming though, and sure enough legs was soon chatting to brunette, both of them ignoring all the guys.
At this point the dude must have been in epic torture. His grand schemes derailed by his so called mates. He gets back up and staggers around the table, then completely misses the chair sitting down. Queue big scene, sympathy, mates doing their “I’m taking care of my drunk friend” routine. I think at that stage everybody realized the party was over, and my mates and I were in danger of laughing too loud – not a safe thing to try with drunk guys around. Altogether a night of good clean fun laughing at other peoples misfortune ;)